The Regretted woman is now his new love.
This anxiety and racing heart has gone on for more than 3 hours now. Longest since all this started.
How fast things change.
Or how long has he lied to me.
He fucked her.
They kissed, they had been and I don't know for how long exactly.
He would lie about that also.
Is the only way he knows how to deal with truths.
The idea he has been wanting her for a while now is the worst about this.
This morning I woke up dreaming he and I made love. He laid me on the bed and we kissed and I was so happy, then I felt hesitation and I did start to hesitate and wonder. I realized I was making love to someone who has fucked another. He looked up at me and said that that had just been sex, this was making love. I needed some time I guess to place what he had done, even in a dream...
But he choose me, wanted me, made love to me...
Then I woke up....
I knew, he made love to her while he could no longer even fuck me.
Why did he lie?
How long did he lie?
How long have they kissed?
How often did they kiss?
When she comes back from India will they start a full-blown relationship?
I asked about them yesterday and he said he wasn't going to start anything with her. So I kept asking, that is the way he tells truths, by being pushed into it.
Isn't it that you want her to be waiting for you, to start a relationship with you I asked.
Now the response was quite different and it was: "I guess so."
He goes full circle in 3 questions.
Because after he said, I won't build up anything with her.
I just want what I didn't get from you.
Not in the past and I am to blame for that. But for the past 9 months I was a new person who was in love with him like when we met, with much more depth. I had all the love and affection a man could want for him. But he wanted it from the woman that he regretted he never tried anything with and that he felt intrigued by.
He is scared to trust her.
He says he has lost trust due to our relationship.
Funny, he is the one who ditched me. I always trusted him and have been shown to be stupid for doing so. I had my trust shattered.
I suffered too much in the relationship.
We are through.
Yesterday or the day before he told me: "You are nothing to me. Not a partner and not a friend."
Is funny how he often repeats the things I have tried to tell him. As in, I spent hours telling him he must not have loved me for years. Now suddenly he says he must not have for 2 years, or not enough, or he would have acted differently. I fight for his love and mine, he never did for mine or his.
He told me that he at a point just waited, for the relationship to break or mend.
Of course it broke.
But he doesn't mind.
He wanted it this way.
He wanted to give her a try.
He has.
They will be happy.
I won't.
Things are simple that way I guess.
How fast things change.
Or how long has he lied to me.
He fucked her.
They kissed, they had been and I don't know for how long exactly.
He would lie about that also.
Is the only way he knows how to deal with truths.
The idea he has been wanting her for a while now is the worst about this.
This morning I woke up dreaming he and I made love. He laid me on the bed and we kissed and I was so happy, then I felt hesitation and I did start to hesitate and wonder. I realized I was making love to someone who has fucked another. He looked up at me and said that that had just been sex, this was making love. I needed some time I guess to place what he had done, even in a dream...
But he choose me, wanted me, made love to me...
Then I woke up....
I knew, he made love to her while he could no longer even fuck me.
Why did he lie?
How long did he lie?
How long have they kissed?
How often did they kiss?
When she comes back from India will they start a full-blown relationship?
I asked about them yesterday and he said he wasn't going to start anything with her. So I kept asking, that is the way he tells truths, by being pushed into it.
Isn't it that you want her to be waiting for you, to start a relationship with you I asked.
Now the response was quite different and it was: "I guess so."
He goes full circle in 3 questions.
Because after he said, I won't build up anything with her.
I just want what I didn't get from you.
Not in the past and I am to blame for that. But for the past 9 months I was a new person who was in love with him like when we met, with much more depth. I had all the love and affection a man could want for him. But he wanted it from the woman that he regretted he never tried anything with and that he felt intrigued by.
He is scared to trust her.
He says he has lost trust due to our relationship.
Funny, he is the one who ditched me. I always trusted him and have been shown to be stupid for doing so. I had my trust shattered.
I suffered too much in the relationship.
We are through.
Yesterday or the day before he told me: "You are nothing to me. Not a partner and not a friend."
Is funny how he often repeats the things I have tried to tell him. As in, I spent hours telling him he must not have loved me for years. Now suddenly he says he must not have for 2 years, or not enough, or he would have acted differently. I fight for his love and mine, he never did for mine or his.
He told me that he at a point just waited, for the relationship to break or mend.
Of course it broke.
But he doesn't mind.
He wanted it this way.
He wanted to give her a try.
He has.
They will be happy.
I won't.
Things are simple that way I guess.
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