I see no big issue with needing someone.
Why are people so against needing someone?
Yeah, so you are much more independent and free if you don't need anyone.
But to me, this looks like another shape of empty.
When you need someone, whether it be human or animal, to be your companion, to make you feel more happy and complete you it is scary but rewarding at the same time.
It almost sounds to me that those who want to not need have trust issues.
They point fingers at those who need and called them scared.
I say not daring to depend on someone is being scared.
Scared of being rejected, scared of getting hurt, scared of belonging with someone.
Who has decided it is better to be scared of one or the other?
I do see the appeal of not needing anyone. You are free, you get to walk out at any point.
But that is the point... when you love someone you don't want to walk out. You don't give a shit if you want that person close and that it is in some ways making you reliant on them for some sort of happiness/comfort/safety. You love them.
Why does it seem to those who don't want to need that those who do are the weak side of humanity?
Daring to trust someone, daring to belong with someone is fucking hard. You lay your heart and soul in their hands and this trust required to do so, is bravery if you ask me. Which obviously no one is.
But get off the high horses you "free" people.
Those who don't want to need should see the amazing side of those who.
Just as those who do need should see the amazing side of those who don't.
Ideally, I say it should be a combination.
Like for me, the man I love has suddenly become very allergic to someone needing someone else.
He told me himself part of his depression started years ago when he realized he felt somewhat like he needed the kittens. Because being afraid someone will leave you, for whatever reason, is really being afraid of the fact you need them for something. Fill in "something" with whatever you want, but it is a dependency which makes so many people uncomfortable. Makes them feel weak and less in control.
On the other side you have me, who needs him and the kittens for everything. I have become allergic almost to the concept of being on my own.
So obviously those two sides clashed. But to me, this is the perfect opportunity to learn.
Needless to say he didn't want to invest that effort and decided it was better and easier to stop.
But when you look at how we both stood towards the other and towards the concept of needing, it had to break. I feel he has to learn to trust and need someone and I have to learn to trust myself and need myself to be more of a person.
I know I sound stupid but I do feel we are made for eachother still. Maybe even more because we are so different in some ways and got so much to learn from eachother, if we see it that way.
But yeah, needing someone is a tricky balance to get right. But the empowerment of being independent combined with the vulnerability of needing someone else is to me what smells like true love, true living. Too much of one or the other and it becomes escapism or suffocatin.
What I do agree with is that you first have to stand on your own two feet and trust yourself to be able to be alone before you get to get the most out of "needing" someone else.
Dang, needing does still sound so negative. I do wonder why that is... Is it wrong to love, to want, to desire, to lust? Those to me are different needs. No one gets pissed at you for needing water and food but when you require something of someone it suddenly becomes needy.
I would like to understand why in a way I don't see the issue with needing someone and yet find that typing out "needing someone" sounds negative to me. I am very confused right now.
Yeah, so you are much more independent and free if you don't need anyone.
But to me, this looks like another shape of empty.
When you need someone, whether it be human or animal, to be your companion, to make you feel more happy and complete you it is scary but rewarding at the same time.
It almost sounds to me that those who want to not need have trust issues.
They point fingers at those who need and called them scared.
I say not daring to depend on someone is being scared.
Scared of being rejected, scared of getting hurt, scared of belonging with someone.
Who has decided it is better to be scared of one or the other?
I do see the appeal of not needing anyone. You are free, you get to walk out at any point.
But that is the point... when you love someone you don't want to walk out. You don't give a shit if you want that person close and that it is in some ways making you reliant on them for some sort of happiness/comfort/safety. You love them.
Why does it seem to those who don't want to need that those who do are the weak side of humanity?
Daring to trust someone, daring to belong with someone is fucking hard. You lay your heart and soul in their hands and this trust required to do so, is bravery if you ask me. Which obviously no one is.
But get off the high horses you "free" people.
Those who don't want to need should see the amazing side of those who.
Just as those who do need should see the amazing side of those who don't.
Ideally, I say it should be a combination.
Like for me, the man I love has suddenly become very allergic to someone needing someone else.
He told me himself part of his depression started years ago when he realized he felt somewhat like he needed the kittens. Because being afraid someone will leave you, for whatever reason, is really being afraid of the fact you need them for something. Fill in "something" with whatever you want, but it is a dependency which makes so many people uncomfortable. Makes them feel weak and less in control.
On the other side you have me, who needs him and the kittens for everything. I have become allergic almost to the concept of being on my own.
So obviously those two sides clashed. But to me, this is the perfect opportunity to learn.
Needless to say he didn't want to invest that effort and decided it was better and easier to stop.
But when you look at how we both stood towards the other and towards the concept of needing, it had to break. I feel he has to learn to trust and need someone and I have to learn to trust myself and need myself to be more of a person.
I know I sound stupid but I do feel we are made for eachother still. Maybe even more because we are so different in some ways and got so much to learn from eachother, if we see it that way.
But yeah, needing someone is a tricky balance to get right. But the empowerment of being independent combined with the vulnerability of needing someone else is to me what smells like true love, true living. Too much of one or the other and it becomes escapism or suffocatin.
What I do agree with is that you first have to stand on your own two feet and trust yourself to be able to be alone before you get to get the most out of "needing" someone else.
Dang, needing does still sound so negative. I do wonder why that is... Is it wrong to love, to want, to desire, to lust? Those to me are different needs. No one gets pissed at you for needing water and food but when you require something of someone it suddenly becomes needy.
I would like to understand why in a way I don't see the issue with needing someone and yet find that typing out "needing someone" sounds negative to me. I am very confused right now.
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