The voicing of the doubt.

Then, it all became confusing, for me.
Suddenly he was talking about taking a pause.
How he wanted to feel free.
Sleeping in the woods was wonderful to him.

Slowly the pause was something more concrete.
Talk of month, months and a year.
He still hugged me then when he came to get me at the planes.
Pure romantic bliss that was for me. Even when he was not feeling great then.

There was a constant letting me know how we would get back together after the pause.
But I refused to let him go like this, out of the blue.
I tried to convince him. I would show him how independent I was.

Unsure if this was before or after the mention of a pause but he decided that he would no longer help me with my OCD. By help I mean that he would no longer do my OCD things for me.
All of a sudden he did what I had told him at the very start to never. To always do my OCD things and then suddenly say no.
But I agreed.
Strangely, my OCD became much less prominent for the first time since I had been young.

He no longer lived with me as before, but I found some OCD freedom and independance and I would use it to show him my love. It would show him why he should stay. How we would work.
And that is what I knew and felt to be true.
For the first time in a long time I would become an equal partner to him.
Though saddened by the loneliness, I was excited by the doors that opened up for us.