The Regretted Woman.
So... it has been snowing here. In and of itself not so unusual this time of year. Very pretty though.
But he was in some remote town and realized his phone-charger was not on him. So late that evening he decided to go off to get a charger he left at the house of the woman I refer to here.
Next day I call him and hear that he has had an accident. This was a few days ago.
He sadly fell from his bike and hurt his ankle and his knee.
As he stayed over at her place, the pain got worse and now it appears he is out of working order for the coming week.
Of course, I find this horrible for him.
But what I find hard to take too is the fact he did not call me. He did not ask me for help. He did not even ask for me to bring him a charger by car or anything like that.
No he went to her and now she will be able to take care of him.
I had my 1st morning without too much of a racing heart yesterday and it blew up in my face after I knew he would be with her for a week.
Isn't this the ideal start of a new relationship? Him being hurt, literally and his mental hurt and her being his best friend and wanting to help him? Just like in the movies, a hug turns into a kiss and off they go...
I feel ashamed this is what goes through my mind, this jealousy.
Yes, I feel bad for him also.
But the idea of my becoming nothing and her the best thing ever hurts.
This is the woman he would tell me: "She and I have such an energy between us, you could not stand to be around us.", whilst we still formed a couple.
This is his best friend.
This is a man who told me not long ago partners don't get to become best friends, but best friends get to become partners.
As if he knew then what would happen now.
Part of me just wants him to get with her and have him be happy.
Part of me wants to go to her place and scream at her.
But the woman doesn't know me. She has never even seen me.
Why? Partly because I didn't want to or could not and partly because I feel he didn't want me to.
So she gets to be this perfect woman who taught him about spirituality and yoga. I get to be the hysterical woman with OCD. Easy choice.
Plus he finds her attractive, independent and someone who goes for what she wants.
Why is he blind to what I have been doing?
Why won't he see what I have achieved?
Why did he just stop loving me?
Is so strange that people find eachother and then, the love just stops.
But he was in some remote town and realized his phone-charger was not on him. So late that evening he decided to go off to get a charger he left at the house of the woman I refer to here.
Next day I call him and hear that he has had an accident. This was a few days ago.
He sadly fell from his bike and hurt his ankle and his knee.
As he stayed over at her place, the pain got worse and now it appears he is out of working order for the coming week.
Of course, I find this horrible for him.
But what I find hard to take too is the fact he did not call me. He did not ask me for help. He did not even ask for me to bring him a charger by car or anything like that.
No he went to her and now she will be able to take care of him.
I had my 1st morning without too much of a racing heart yesterday and it blew up in my face after I knew he would be with her for a week.
Isn't this the ideal start of a new relationship? Him being hurt, literally and his mental hurt and her being his best friend and wanting to help him? Just like in the movies, a hug turns into a kiss and off they go...
I feel ashamed this is what goes through my mind, this jealousy.
Yes, I feel bad for him also.
But the idea of my becoming nothing and her the best thing ever hurts.
This is the woman he would tell me: "She and I have such an energy between us, you could not stand to be around us.", whilst we still formed a couple.
This is his best friend.
This is a man who told me not long ago partners don't get to become best friends, but best friends get to become partners.
As if he knew then what would happen now.
Part of me just wants him to get with her and have him be happy.
Part of me wants to go to her place and scream at her.
But the woman doesn't know me. She has never even seen me.
Why? Partly because I didn't want to or could not and partly because I feel he didn't want me to.
So she gets to be this perfect woman who taught him about spirituality and yoga. I get to be the hysterical woman with OCD. Easy choice.
Plus he finds her attractive, independent and someone who goes for what she wants.
Why is he blind to what I have been doing?
Why won't he see what I have achieved?
Why did he just stop loving me?
Is so strange that people find eachother and then, the love just stops.
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