My refound love.

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During this entire period of being alone and of getting confused messages, I found out he is truly the man of my life, the love of my life.
I stopped taking my antidepressants.
Suddenly I was in touch with my heart on an entire new level, with my feelings.
I felt attracted to him, sexually.
A blockade had been lifted.
I could feel.
And all my feelings brought me to him and my love for him.
I loved this... though it is making it all harder now.

Slowly, each time he would come home, I could feel him more distant. More angry.
These months he had become the one who was annoyed at all I did.
While I found all he did, or almost all he did, a new or renewed reasons to love him.

All the walks we had taken in the park in the last year. All the things we had been able to do that we couldn't before. All of it had not been enough...
I told him, I did thid and that and you wanted this and I did that...
Each time, he said: "It must not have been what I wanted."
But I, I fell in love with him all over again. Deeper and deeper I fell for him while the hole beneath me went deeper and I started to fall...

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