Why I owe up to all I did.

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I speak openly of all I did wrong because it has to be included into the picture.
He is not just an asshole who dumped me.
We had many issues for many years. We both did.

By the way, he had always said he would not have kids. The OCD made that rather hard for me to do anyway, but it still was hard for me.

Neither did he want to get married.

I hated being alone. He hated being attached.
What a combination...
But for me, it worked.
How?
Was it because I needed him? For the practical shit he did and the money he provided?
Or the love?
Was love still playing its part?
For me it never stopped.
Love was the basis, though even I did not realize it then.

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